leprechaun carpet

last week i started to feel a little homesick with all the pictures friends and family were posting of my beloved mountains and the changing leaves.  it's true, my heart will always reel me back to the mountains...but for now, i am soaking in all the beauty the midwest has to offer.

on wednesday night, brennan and i got to go out to gahanna for dinner at a physicians house.  they had a huge yard and goats!  and chickens and ducks.  i think i almost have brennan convinced we need a mini-farm someday.  i mean, what's better than a horse to get around town and fresh eggs every day?  we'd probably save tons of money with the amount of baking i do around here.  

what can i say?  goats love me.

and now for some shameless columbus promoting.

before we moved to ohio, brennan told me that when he landed in columbus as a missionary 5 years ago, all the green reminded him of ireland.  unfortunately i've never been to ireland, and i don't have a really nice camera to take cool pictures of all the green, but with these pictures and a little imagination, you can get a pretty good idea.  it is green.

green in the water

green on the trees

green on the rocks

green on the ground

green in the air.

there are other colors, too. 

 

last thing...ohio has a lot of corn and a lot of sky.  and i love it.

top secret information

yesterday afternoon, while at a friends house, my phone went missing for a short period of time.  when i did get it back, my friend tyler was the last one to use it...thus the updated facebook status reading:
"i love ALL the boys".  i didn't really think much of it, but while i was at the gym that evening i had a stroke of genius.  i've never been much of a fighter, but this prank was too good to pass up.

late that night i posted an ad on ksl for free puppies with tyler's name and phone number.  here is the ad.

this morning i checked the ad at about 7:30 and it already had 150 views.  an hour later i got a text from tyler's roommate, nate.

nate: did you post that ad on ksl about the free puppies??

me: what ad?

nate: somebody posted an ad advertising free puppies under Tyler's name.  He's been getting calls all morning ha ha (mind you this is 8:30 a.m.--which means they'd been calling since heaven knows what time)

me: Ha ha ha, man, I wish I had been the culprit.  That is hilarious.

nate: Yeah you're near the top of the suspect list just so you know ha ha

me: Why is that?  I'm flattered

nate: How could you not??  you're so suspicious 

me: oh yes, you know me, such a conniving scheming woman.

meanwhile, tyler updated his facebook status:

it's amazing how many people feel comfortable calling or texting a random stranger before 8am if it's in the pursuit of free puppies.

it was about that time that the ad disappeared from ksl.  a few hours later, tyler entertained us all with a new photo album on facebook with a few of the conversations he had this morning with some disappointed customers: "No, I don't have puppies"

do you see that?  6:59 a.m. is when this person tried to contact tyler

at least we know he has a good sense of humor...

and now, my personal favorite...

as far as i know, tyler is still in the dark as to the culprit.  let's keep it that way, shall we?

peace+love

ducks are cannibals

on monday night as i was walking to the library i saw a duck eating something on the sidewalk in between the jsb and the benson building.  this is normal because there are always ducks on the south side of campus.  but it looked like it was eating a dead animal.  i couldn't tell what it was so i just stared and stared as i passed till i realized it was another duck.  um.  ya.  so then my friend and i decided to google it and see if ducks are cannibals.  this is what we found.
THIS links to a government website that give guidelines on brooding and rearing ducks.

this is a hilarious, way worth your time to read excerpt from an article on this website:
Here's a real quote from a government website on duck-rearing: "Although cannibalism can begin in ducks of any age, ducklings over 4 weeks old are more prone to develop this vice." Okay, I'll just stop things here. I love how they refer to cannibalism as a 'vice.' Like, "Oh yeah, remember that Jeffrey Dahmer? He had quite a vice." A 'vice' is enjoying lottery tickets or eating an extra slice of pie, not eating an extra slice of your roommate. Back to the government advice, "The underlying reasons for birds turning to cannibalism are not known, but it is associated with boredom and is aggravated by overcrowding, lack of ventilation, faulty nutrition." Where to begin. Ducks become cannibals due to boredom. Boredom?! I didn't even know ducks could get bored. It seems kind of a high mental state for their kind. But even so. Boredom?! That's not an excuse. When you get bored, you watch a movie, do some needlepoint or something. Nobody has ever thought, "Damn I'm bored! might as well eat old Howard Delaney." According to the experts, however, that is how ducks think. Oh, and it can aggravated. So boredom is the main reason. But "faulty" nutrition (whatever that is) and a slightly stodgy atmosphere is enough to set them off on a cannibalistic murderfest. It gets worse. "The only known way to stop it is to remove the rim at the front of the bird’s upper bill." That's right: you have to cut off their mouths to make them stop eating each other. Apparently entertaining them somehow--hiring a magician or clown--doesn't work. Y'just have to cut off their mouths.

well, ever since then i have seen more ducks than in my entire life combined.  and now they freak me out.  brooke, you think whales are bad?  ducks are now at the bottom of the list for me.
peace+love

what makes the irish heart beat...

i still remember the day i found out van morrison isn't black.

pretty much all my memories of him consist of riding in the car in the middle of the night through southern utah to get to las vegas or orderville.  i was never good at sleeping in cars, or anywhere besides my own bed for that matter,  so i'd usually be the only other person awake besides my mom.  she would listen to either van morrison or gladys knight and i would look out the car window at the moon and star scattered night sky.  i remember in the bush off to the side of the road i'd look for the beady reflections of deer eyes, and dead rodents in the median.  mmm, those were the simpler days.

i think i just always assumed he was black because the majority of my mom's favorite singers are, plus add to that his rich tone, amazing improv skills, gorgeous interpretation of this, my favorite jazz song,...

i don't remember how exactly it came up...but i think the conversation went something like this...
"i love van morrison's voice.  i just find it kind of ironic and funny that a black guy is singing irish jigs."
"kelli, van morrison is white."
"what?!?"

i mean, i guess it's cool. i don't really have anything against white guys...

peace+love

when will they ever learn?

they're wild animals. they belong in the wild.

don't even get me started on how they treat chimps in the circus.

peace+love

sometimes, i'm really opinionated

remember when i posted on the cove?
most of you probably heard this story in the news this week--you know, where the whale killed a trainer in the middle of a show in shamu stadium...
welp, this is my blog where i get to voice my opinions:

wild animals don't belong in captivity.

peace+love

when i grow up

i have a really hard time deciding what i want now, and what i want for the next few years of my life...so i'm starting this new thing where i decide what i'm going to do in 7 or 8 years from now.
to do:
-live in portland. maybe san diego. and maybe san fran.-own an old english sheepdog. and a siberian husky. and maybe a basset hound. oh, and a bernese mountain dog.-own a tonkinese (yes, i still miss my cat). and a birman. and maybe a cornish rex.

-if i'm going to have all these pets i probably can't move that much. guess i'll stay in portland.
-and i want a sick bose sound system. not necessarily a tv...just speakers.

...welp, that pretty much covers it.

and when you grow up?

peace+love

flipper

this {fictional} resume was created for a writing class i took my freshman year...

Kelli Jean Russell

1238 N 23409 W

La Jolla, CA 92037

(858)555-3995

OBJECTIVE

Obtain a position as Whale trainer/performer at San Diego’s Sea World.

EDUCATION

Bachelor of Science, University of Southern California, May 2008 (GPA 3.9)

Major: Marine Biology. Minor: Animal Psychology

EXPERIENCE

Internship, La Jolla Diving Protective Specialists, since June 2007. Certified Scuba Divers and Rescuers. Perform dives off coast of La Jolla Beach to examine sea life and what was causing rise in whale deaths. Assisted in developing/experimented with new protective methods. Also assisted in developing program of communication with whales that facilitate the same techniques used by Sea World trainers.

Whale/Dolphin Caretaker, La Jolla Aquarium, June 2006 – August 2007. Started out feeding and cleaning penguins. Moved to whales and dolphins then promoted to caretaker. Drew awareness to necessity to protect whales and dolphins from poaching.

Lifeguard, La Jolla Beach, April 2002 – June 2006. Had to be fit enough to swim a mile in 20 minutes. Saved a surfer from a shark attack. Became familiar with sea life of the area.

OTHER EXPERIENCE

Completed 12 Olympic Length Triathlons since 2005

Volunteer at La Jolla Veterinarian Hospital: September 1993-August 2007

Volunteer at La Jolla Aquarium: September 1994-June 2006

That was until I saw this movie:

ya, it made my older brother cry
peace+love

murphy's law (paranoia)

i had this strange thought today when i noticed a lump on my shin--what if i lost all use of my left leg? i got choked up just thinking about it...
i couldn't HIKE!
or ski
or rock climb
or skip
or drive a clutch
or run
or dance
or cliff jump
or ride my beloved bicycle
or walk
heck, standing would even be a little difficult!

my dreams of becoming a hermit with my husband and abandoning all modern conveniences would be shattered...

but then again, maybe I'd get my leg amputated and get a prosthetic then compete in the special olympics--table tennis, or bowling...
except that my average bowling score is 44.
or i could climb mt. Everest with my prosthetic leg and get really famous...
except i don't even have a desire to do that with two human legs.
or i could fulfill my ambition of becoming a whale trainer at sea world...I'd be the first whale trainer with a prosthetic leg
yes, that's it! they can't say no to someone with a prosthetic leg.

did you know elephants can have prosthetic legs?
i'm going to bed
-what great thing would you do if you had a prosthetic leg?

As i write this, this adorable cat is laying behind me just like that...today, between conference sessions my friend leilani went on a walk and came back with this cat. she said the cat just followed her. we had her at leilani's apartment during the second session and she is SO cuddly! audrey (leilani's roommate and another friend) is ultra possesive of her animals. we let her outside and everyone in monticello was harrassing her so audrey asked if we could bring her over to my house cause i get a lot more privacy. i don't know how my roommates will feel about her being here (the one roommate that is home i don't think really likes the idea) and i don't think my landlady would appreciate it, but my landlady is never here so i guess that doesn't matter. anyway, we're going to try to find an owner and if she leaves we'll let her go, but i can't just leave her out in the cold, she's so tiny!!! any advise on training a cat would be helpful!
peace+love