amateur

our first sunday in ohio a tornado warning went off during the third hour of church...we all gathered in the hallway till we got the okay to go home.  i just remembered that with all this crazy wind today.

anyway, for the months of september and october i took a beginning painting class from a local artist in downtown columbus.  i have zero background in painting.  i took ceramics in high school and that's the extent of my fine arts background.  but i've always wanted to learn how to paint and it was pretty inexpensive, so i signed up and went for three hours every week to paint with a bunch of retired women.  i think i was the most inexperienced painter there, but i loved it.  i learned to go out of my comfort zone (big time), i learned to be patient with myself, but also with the painting process, and most of all, i learned that there's a lot i need to learn.

my very first painting from class.  still unfinished.

a lot of times my instructor would tell me to take a step back from my painting and look at it from a few feet away.  it was crazy how much that changed your perspective and made you realize your painting actually looks really good...or really terrible.  when i'd get stuck or hate the way something was turning out, my much more experienced instructor always seemed to know exactly what i needed to do to give my painting dimension or to separate the flowers or whatever needed to be changed.   

my third (also unfinished) painting

i realized i'm an amateur in a lot of aspects of my life--as a student, a wife, a daughter, sister, and especially as a disciple.  sometimes i get so wrapped up in my own little world that i forget to take a step back and remember the big picture.  that's why i'm so grateful for my life instructor.  our Heavenly Father has been there and done that.  He really does have all the answers.  i'm grateful for the scriptures that guide me and help me understand what the finished product i'm working for is.  i'm grateful for the holy ghost who gently instructs me on how to change.  and most of all, i'm grateful for the Savior who gives me the ability to actually make those changes.  Heavenly Father has something more beautiful than we can imagine in store for us.  we have the tools to create it, we just need Him to teach us how to use them.

my first painting without an instructor telling me what to paint and how to paint it.

how sweet it is to be loved by him

"god is making things happen for you.  

even when you don't see it, even when you can't feel it, even if it's not evident...

god is working on your prayers."

sorry, the video is probably sideways cause it's from my phone and i don't know how to flip it around, but man, i sure do love this kid.

peace+love

lessons learned the hard way...

wow, i have been quite the sporadic blogger as of late.  i don't know that anyone even reads this anymore.  but i actually do have something of value to share today.  i've spent the last 6 weeks in mexico, and if i'm being totally honest with myself and everyone else it has been one of the toughest experiences i've ever had.  not that living in mexico is hard, it's great!  but there are lots of circumstances that have made it difficult.  but i am so grateful.  because i also feel like i've learned and grown more in the last 6 weeks than in the last 6 months combined.  i've spent the last couple of days reflecting on some of those lessons i've learned, and i want to share a few with you...

Obedience IS happiness.  it is also the greatest source of peace.

commandments protect us from pain.

repentance can be a difficult, painful process, but a beautiful one that, when done correctly and sincerely, brings lasting changes and profound peace.

the atonement truly does heal.  no matter how broken you feel, the atonement provides the light you must work toward to be made whole again.

love God above all things.  this love will bring you confidence, faith, hope, and the patience needed in moments of difficulty.

i feel like i am in such a good place right now, with god and with myself.  i have an amazing family and am surrounded by people who inspire me everyday.  and in the hard times i have prayer and my relaxing music to put things into perspective. last night i was thinking how grateful i am for all of the experiences i've had in life where God has testified to me that He exists and He loves me and i can trust Him.  today i was thinking how grateful i am for the people in my life who have helped me along the way.  in short, 

i know God lives.  "what comfort this sweet sentence gives."

plus, look how loved i am.  two of my favorite people i've met here and malachi bought us sunflowers!

peace+love

oh, poor atlas, the world's a beast of a burden

this world is scary and life is hard.  i've spent a fair amount of time lately reading the news (trying to get rid of that instinct of going to facebook when i get online). some of today's headlines included, "inmates seen with guns, using drugs", "US:North Korea may launch missile", "Building collapse kills at least 9", amongst other tragedies, crimes, and disasters.  then there's all the crap that happens in people's personal lives everyday that don't make it to the headlines, and they often suffer in silence: divorce, death in the family, abuse, cancer, break ups, neglect, unemployment, bad grades, the list goes on.  as i write this i hear the siren of a firetruck pass my street.  man, it's exhausting.

but, God loves us.  and as i've struggled through my own trials and felt the weight and sadness for the trials of those around me, i've been so overwhelmed with gratitude at the love people have extended to me.  for every bad thing in life, there are two (at least) good things.

ex. 1 - these missionaries

i know i shouldn't have favorites, but seriously, i am going to miss these guys.  for the last six weeks they have strengthened my faith, brightened my day, and brought me closer to Christ.  i remember kneeling with them last saturday night as we prayed together.  when we finished i thought, where else in the world would you find a group of eleven 18-21 year olds kneeling together in prayer on a saturday night by choice? yes, amidst all the turmoil around us, there is so much good--this is one incredible group of young adults.

ex. 2 - these two goofballs

ashton and tess (my roommate and her boyfriend).  they are such blessings in my life.  i got home from work on wednesday after a sort of rough day and they kidnapped me, took me to dinner, and to walk around the mall for a bit.  that's just one example of the bajillion when they've helped me in some way. they are so quick to serve and care for others.  i couldn't ask for a better roommate/friend and her boyfriend (old married couple, really).  

ex. 3-this beautiful, selfless woman

my mother.  brooke sent me a text the other day that said, "There is a scripture in Acts about mama! acts 2:28 - 'Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance.'"  how true it is.  i cannot describe the peace i feel every time i am with her or get off the phone with her. she always seems to know just the right words to say. 

ex. 4-this beautiful weather we've had

ex. 5 -this weekend = general conference baby!  ya, the world is scary, but when we listen to and obey the prophet, we need not fear for the future.  God is great and He loves, and He will never give up on us or disappoint us.  He is perfect and He is my best friend.  I love Him. 

sorry this post was so wordy.  but it was therapeutic for me to write.  if you actually read it, i hope it will be therapeutic for you in some way as well.  also virtual hug to whoever can tell me where the title of this post comes from without googling it.

peace+love