the fiddle leaf fig.

this is a fiddle leaf fig tree.

it's a pretty nice looking tree, don't you think?

that's what i thought, too, when i opened up the package from briana, brennan's sister. it was her family's wedding gift to us...a living tree.  i love trees and our house needed a plant, so i was very thankful. then briana told us why they gave us this particular tree.

when we got married in the beautiful salt lake temple, brianna recognized fiddle leaf fig trees in a few different places inside the temple.  she wanted us to have a little piece of that holy place in our home.

and now i love this tree that much more, because it will remind me of that perfect day when i was married to this amazing man for all eternity.  (you can read about that perfect day here)

i'm not going to name the tree, but i'll admit, i did move it from our office to the kitchen today while i did homework to keep myself company...i guess i'm already pretty attached so i really hope i can keep it alive longer than i can keep a camera from getting stolen. (i've had 4 stolen in my lifetime)

peace+love

rains are coming down and floods are coming up

you know, homeschool has actually turned out to be quite nice.  i get to walk around the house in my underwear all day, and i can be doing laundry, dishes, and homework all at once.

but that's not really what i wanted to say today.  i wanted to talk about the news again.

i've been reading the news pretty frequently as of late and that can get really depressing.  actually, i think i only read one article yesterday because on monday there were at least two articles that made me nauseous.  some people...i just don't know what has happened to their brains--like star, the 25 year old girl who wants to marry charles manson.  creepy and weird.  anyway, i went to bed feeling a little down thinking about all of those yazidi stuck in the scorching mountains of iraq.  

then tuesday morning rolled around and i read the following quotation: "the world will not glide calmly toward the Second Coming of the Savior.  The scriptures declare that 'all things shall be in commotion.'...but as you trust in God, they will strengthen your faith."  that's when i remembered how hard i had prayed the previous night before going to bed.  i felt that my prayer was more sincere and faith-filled than a lot of my prayers recently.  so, though i'm not necessarily grateful for all the horrible things going on around me, i am grateful that they cause me to seek more diligently to understand the atonement and look to God for hope, and therein find joy.  

     

also, i still think the earth is beautiful and life is marvelous.

Mr. and Mrs. Wright, officially.

it's officially official.  brennan and i were sealed on friday, june 13th.  and quite frankly, it was perfect. 

when i made the sealing appointment, i intentionally made it later in the afternoon so i wouldn't have to wake up before 8 a.m.  well, so much for that.  i was sleeping soundly until a dear friend sent me a text at 6 a.m.: "hey i know it's early but let's be honest you didn't sleep last night anyway....blahblahblah" 

i think i got 8 text messages between 6 and 7:30 a.m.   

but it was fine, because everything else that day was perfect.  really, there is no feeling like being in the sealing room of the temple, and definitely no way to describe the feelings of kneeling across the altar from the person you love most, ready to make a covenant with them that will bind the two of you together forever...i've never felt happier in my life.  then to see all your loved ones waiting outside the temple, it was the best. everything about that day was so fun and stress free...brennan and i could just be our goofy, happy, in-love selves and not worry about anything thanks to all my family who helped to pull off our backyard reception, which was also perfect.  

the photo booth and tacos were a hit, as was our first dance (video to come).  i just felt so loved that whole day.  so many people came to support us and share their love for us.  it is so great to know that there are people on this earth who care about you.

                 

speaking of love...the greatest part and purpose of this whole day knowing that there is one person on this earth who loves and cares for you more than he loves and cares for anyone else.  man, that guy makes me feel so loved.  and that day he made me feel extra loved and so beautiful.  he makes me feel like the most important person in his world.  i'm so looking forward to moving to ohio with him on tuesday where we'll start our household together and brennan will start his medical school journey.  life is going to happen no matter where you are or what you're doing, and i'm really glad all of it is going to happen with him.

peace+love

how i met my lover

i've been meaning to get back into this whole blogging thing for a while now, but have felt like i forgot how to write.  on sunday we watched "My New Life", the mormon message by Stephanie Nielsen, and that motivated me to get back into it, if simply to share my testimony and how grateful i am for the gospel in my life and the way it shapes who i am and how i live.  perhaps the biggest way it's shaped my life recently is my decision to marry this guy:

man, this picture just makes me smile.  he is so great, and so great for me.  sometimes when i think how much i love him and how good he is to me i just cry.  

we were talking the other day about how awesome it is that things just worked out the way they did.  

i came home from mexico 7 lbs lighter, sick, and heartbroken.  i was not about to jump into another relationship.  in fact, i remember sitting at dinner that night telling my mom how i was done saying yes to every guy that asked me out.  from then on i was only going to say yes if i was really interested.  that was on a wednesday.  on sunday, on a whim, i decided to go to ward prayer since i didn't know any of the new people who had moved in while i was gone.  it was at a guys apartment in old academy.  i was one of the last to leave, and on my way out the door, the guys who lived in that apartment cornered me and said, "we haven't met you yet!"  after introducing myself a couple of them just walked away, but one stuck around to chat.  we talked about how from the back of his head he looked like another guy i'd dated (story for another day) and ender's game.  the next day i bought ender's game and brennan added me on facebook.  on wednesday i went to a gospel doctrine committee meeting only to find brennan there as well.  i had to leave early, so we didn't get a chance to talk, but just a couple of hours later he called and asked me to go to the boise state vs. byu football game with him that friday.  after the game on friday we went to dinner then back to his house and spent 8 hours together that first date.  after that first date we saw each other every day until christmas break and continue to do so.  i actually had a blind date the day after our first date (so much for saying no), but i kept it short so i could get to the ward halloween dance where i knew brennan would be.  

as for brennan, he was pretty frustrated with dating when we met.  he wanted to get married and was going on a lot of dates, but couldn't find anyone who kept his interest long enough to develop into something.  he also never went to ward prayer, but it was at his apartment, so he didn't have a choice.  at the time, he had been taking this girl out who apparently "wasn't very smart".  a couple weeks after we started dating he told me "once i met you i thought, why am i dating this girl?  i should be dating kelli".  and so he did.

it is pretty awesome loving someone and being loved by someone this way--to have that support and devotion.  it has been the best opportunity to develop charity, patience, and humility.  i can only imagine how cool it will be to be married. just one month and twelve days till we will be sealed for all eternity in this beautiful house of God!

peace+love

i'll come out smiling like a snowman in a blizzard

wow, january is nearly over...i'm really glad it's leaving in better conditions than it came in. so far i'm doing pretty okay with my new years resolutions.  actually, i'm doing awesome on my biggest resolution.  like, so awesome.  perhaps someday i'll tell you about it...it's one of those inner battles with those debilitating demons in your head.  those demons are currently getting their butts kicked.  

in the meantime, enjoy some january highlights:
brennan got back from the break january 2nd and we spent the last couple days living it up before crunch time...

because we're such classy, cool cats, we love nickel city.

he worked me in almost every game we played.

we danced our little hearts out and had more fun than just about anyone at sydnee and david's wedding.  really though, i think syd and her new husband were the only one's having more fun than us.

then we hiked our little hearts out up big springs.  

with no new snow we saw plenty of large animal prints frozen in the snow...

and some really beautiful views.

with the new semester i had to hit the ground running.  between a promotion at my job and serving as relief society president, the first week of school left little room to breathe.  luckily, brennan was gone that whole week at med school interviews..i mean, i was sad he was gone, but glad.  you know what i mean.  but since then, we've made time for some more fun...

again, brennan worked me.  

this time in bowling.  

the only thing i beat him at were the granny shots

spent mlk weekend at the cabin hanging out with three 14-year-old girls.  

we had a ton of fun sledding and goofing around in the snow with them.

and now it's the month of love

and we fully intend to start it out right--

thank heavens for this new snow the last couple of days...

snowbird, here we come.

peace+love

lessons learned the hard way...

wow, i have been quite the sporadic blogger as of late.  i don't know that anyone even reads this anymore.  but i actually do have something of value to share today.  i've spent the last 6 weeks in mexico, and if i'm being totally honest with myself and everyone else it has been one of the toughest experiences i've ever had.  not that living in mexico is hard, it's great!  but there are lots of circumstances that have made it difficult.  but i am so grateful.  because i also feel like i've learned and grown more in the last 6 weeks than in the last 6 months combined.  i've spent the last couple of days reflecting on some of those lessons i've learned, and i want to share a few with you...

Obedience IS happiness.  it is also the greatest source of peace.

commandments protect us from pain.

repentance can be a difficult, painful process, but a beautiful one that, when done correctly and sincerely, brings lasting changes and profound peace.

the atonement truly does heal.  no matter how broken you feel, the atonement provides the light you must work toward to be made whole again.

love God above all things.  this love will bring you confidence, faith, hope, and the patience needed in moments of difficulty.

i feel like i am in such a good place right now, with god and with myself.  i have an amazing family and am surrounded by people who inspire me everyday.  and in the hard times i have prayer and my relaxing music to put things into perspective. last night i was thinking how grateful i am for all of the experiences i've had in life where God has testified to me that He exists and He loves me and i can trust Him.  today i was thinking how grateful i am for the people in my life who have helped me along the way.  in short, 

i know God lives.  "what comfort this sweet sentence gives."

plus, look how loved i am.  two of my favorite people i've met here and malachi bought us sunflowers!

peace+love

a very white glow fish in a black pond.

word.  i am in mexico in case you didn't already figure that out.  here's what it's like:
-today i realized i almost feel like i'm on another mission.  except that i get to go out of the mtc walls (menos mal), get online whenever i want, and talk to this stud everyday

(i miss him a little bit a lot.  good thing my 2 roommates are engaged and almost engaged so they can't get sick of me talking about him)

-but other than that i spend most of my day studying the scriptures and teaching missionaries.  22 of them.  20 of which are male, 18 years old, 2013 high school graduates.  yes, it is exhausting.  good thing i don't have to wake up at 6:30 every morning.
-speaking of my roommates, i could not ask for better ones.  in our house there are 5 bedrooms.  3 of those bedrooms have one person in them (and 4 beds).  but we choose to share the three of us to one room anyway.  seriously, God knows us and cares about our needs.

amanda (engaged), me, sydnee (practically engaged)

-i stick out like a sore thumb.  in chile i felt like i could blend in a little better.  between the 25 extra pounds i had and all the german-descendants in chile i passed for a chilean or argentine pretty often.  no one doubted my ability to speak spanish.  it is not the same story here.  everyone is brown.  sometimes it works, though.  like the other day when we went out to the city and i had to go to the bathroom.  i didn't realize you had to buy a ticket at the front so i just went right in.  there was this little woman at the door trying to get my attention, but i didn't notice (she was really small).  then she turned to this guy and said, "oh, ella no habla.  ya, pase."  free bathroom for the gringa!

-i do not know how mexicans get all their nutrients.  they do not eat nearly enough vegetables.  i've resorted to taking multivitamins everyday.  but, their tortillas, tacos, and frijoles really are better.  churros, to die for.

-outside of la ciudad de mexico, it's actually really pretty.  but mexico d.f. is really pretty ugly.

mmmmm....this is not d.f.  this is an hour north in teotihuacan.

-people here drive worse than chileans.  waaaaaay worse.  our taxi driver yesterday decided to create his own lane in between a bus and another car.  

mexico is crazy, but i'm growing to love it more everyday.  and even though it's hard to be far away from home, i have already grown in a way i could not have if i were home in my comfortable environment with my classes, apartment, my main man, my bike, working 20 hours a week, doing my normal routine.  and that makes it all worth it.

picture overload!

this is what you look like when you get caught in a monsoon.  which happens every single day.

i think the sixtine chapel needs these.  mirrors so you don't have to crane your neck to look at the ceiling.

this weekend is independence day.  hence the flags.

                           

los templos de teotihuacan.  i can't tell you how many stairs we climbed that day, but it was a lot.

the teotihuacanos made 260 human sacrifices right behind where we're sitting.  back in the year 200.

el templo de la luna behind us

this is the position they would be in for the human sacrifices.

would you really expect anything else?

just one more for good measure...

p.s.  it's okay to be jealous.  next weekend i'm going to see lucha libre.  nacho libre in real life!

oh, poor atlas, the world's a beast of a burden

this world is scary and life is hard.  i've spent a fair amount of time lately reading the news (trying to get rid of that instinct of going to facebook when i get online). some of today's headlines included, "inmates seen with guns, using drugs", "US:North Korea may launch missile", "Building collapse kills at least 9", amongst other tragedies, crimes, and disasters.  then there's all the crap that happens in people's personal lives everyday that don't make it to the headlines, and they often suffer in silence: divorce, death in the family, abuse, cancer, break ups, neglect, unemployment, bad grades, the list goes on.  as i write this i hear the siren of a firetruck pass my street.  man, it's exhausting.

but, God loves us.  and as i've struggled through my own trials and felt the weight and sadness for the trials of those around me, i've been so overwhelmed with gratitude at the love people have extended to me.  for every bad thing in life, there are two (at least) good things.

ex. 1 - these missionaries

i know i shouldn't have favorites, but seriously, i am going to miss these guys.  for the last six weeks they have strengthened my faith, brightened my day, and brought me closer to Christ.  i remember kneeling with them last saturday night as we prayed together.  when we finished i thought, where else in the world would you find a group of eleven 18-21 year olds kneeling together in prayer on a saturday night by choice? yes, amidst all the turmoil around us, there is so much good--this is one incredible group of young adults.

ex. 2 - these two goofballs

ashton and tess (my roommate and her boyfriend).  they are such blessings in my life.  i got home from work on wednesday after a sort of rough day and they kidnapped me, took me to dinner, and to walk around the mall for a bit.  that's just one example of the bajillion when they've helped me in some way. they are so quick to serve and care for others.  i couldn't ask for a better roommate/friend and her boyfriend (old married couple, really).  

ex. 3-this beautiful, selfless woman

my mother.  brooke sent me a text the other day that said, "There is a scripture in Acts about mama! acts 2:28 - 'Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance.'"  how true it is.  i cannot describe the peace i feel every time i am with her or get off the phone with her. she always seems to know just the right words to say. 

ex. 4-this beautiful weather we've had

ex. 5 -this weekend = general conference baby!  ya, the world is scary, but when we listen to and obey the prophet, we need not fear for the future.  God is great and He loves, and He will never give up on us or disappoint us.  He is perfect and He is my best friend.  I love Him. 

sorry this post was so wordy.  but it was therapeutic for me to write.  if you actually read it, i hope it will be therapeutic for you in some way as well.  also virtual hug to whoever can tell me where the title of this post comes from without googling it.

peace+love

you is good

i have the great blessing of teaching spanish and teaching skills to missionaries at the mtc.  and for one hour everyday they teach me and i act as someone who hasn't heard the gospel.  today, two of my missionaries invited me to be baptized...long story short i told them i was a bad person and wasn't good enough to be baptized, because everything i do is for my own benefit.  i'm not selfless like them.  and you know what my sweet, 18-year-old, extremely humble elder said to me in the best spanish he could muster,

"you are a good person, because you chose to follow Christ and come to earth before you were born."

if only this elder could know what an impact that had on me personally today.  how true this is.  we were born good.  with the desire to help and please others...just look at little kids--the way they react when someone gets hurt or is crying.  we are all sons and daughters of the same heavenly father.  we all have the same loving Savior and big brother.  and no matter how far off the path we've found ourselves, no matter how heavy we feel our burden is, there is no sin, no trial, and no person who is not accounted for by the love of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.  there is always a way back.  there is always strength to be found.  God loves you.  He knows you are good.

peace+love

how do i love thee?

friday night i went to the mindy gledhill concert...it was a miracle that we got in (really, though, by the kindness of a lady in line with an extra ticket...thanks, susan!) and i was so glad we went.  i love concerts, but to be honest, it's rare that i leave a concert feeling uplifted and inspired spiritually. this song especially touched me.  i feel like this is how jesus feels about me.

then yesterday at work i was talking with my missionaries about the atonement. i shared with them this video

 

i've seen this video heaven knows how many times, yet every time it impacts me--the excruciating pain and horrendous suffering.  all of it for the children of God, because He loves His father and He loves us.  and even after washing His face in the creek, the water running red with His blood, He goes and heals the ear of the very man who tries to arrest Him.  He loved him.  as i watched it yesterday i began to think of that perfect love that Christ has for all of us.  His suffering was so great that He even cried out, "if thou be willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done."  He loves God more than He loves Himself, so He went through with it.  but not only that, He loves us more than He loves Himself.  all of us.  you, me, lady gaga, hitler, obama...He loves them all.

we are so weak.  we hate, we criticize, we judge, we do everything but love.  

but not only that, too often we love ourselves more than we love God.  we indulge in that song that has that one swear word because it is pleasing to us for that time we're listening.  we skip out on sunday school cause we're tired.  we blow off or ignore that person cause they're weird.  

in what ways do you love God more than you love yourself?  how would your life be different if you were to change those things?

peace+love

look to the light

today, my heart is here 

(san miguel, santiago, chile)

with these people (and all my other amigos chilenos for that matter)...

 and it hurts a little bit.

words cannot express the love i have for the people i met in that beautiful place.  i miss them, and the worst part is, heaven knows when i'll have the money to go back.  

in the mean time, i'm remembering what it's like to be a vessel through which people feel God's love.  

there is no greater joy than knowing that someone knows God loves them because of something you said or did.  

the great news is, you can do that no matter where you are in the world.  it's just a matter of seeking the opportunity then seeking and following the guidance of the Spirit as Elder Ballard so eloquently taught us in General Conference.  

need some inspiration?

peace+love

...it's november?!?!

needless to say, october was fabulous but flew by like a streaker on a football field.  it's okay though, cause so far november has been pretty beautiful too.

i am doing a project for school...  as part of my project i've been asking my close friends and family to tell me one truth about themselves, one reality that is a part of who they are.  i've had a variety of responses, but more on that later.  as i've asked for these i've thought about what my response would be.  this what i came up with:  i oftentimes feel inadequate for everything/everyone--with relationships, school, work, cycling, etc... i know i was feeling like that for the first month and a half of school--i felt, "why am i an english major? i am not good at this.  i'll never make it in the real world as an English major."  that was part of the reason i quit being a music major, too.

well, that is no way to live.  you cannot spend your whole life thinking you'll never be good enough at anything.  all you can do is perform to the best of your abilities and do all you can to bless others' lives.  President Uchtdorf confirmed this thought in the october 2011 general conference.  speaking of his experience training at an air base in Texas, his first time in the United States, he says,

At the time, Big Spring, despite its name, was a small, insignificant, and unknown place. And I often felt exactly the same way about myself—insignificant, unknown, and quite alone. Even so, I never once wondered if the Lord had forgotten me or if He would ever be able to find me there. I knew that it didn’t matter to Heavenly Father where I was, where I ranked with others in my pilot training class, or what my calling in the Church was. What mattered to Him was that I was doing the best I could, that my heart was inclined toward Him, and that I was willing to help those around me. I knew if I did the best I could, all would be well.

later on he continues...

Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love.  God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.

i know that that is true.

peace+love

NEVER leave your religion at the door

man, i'm sorry to anyone who missed the ces fireside tonight.  you can watch it here.
elder holland.  what a powerful speaker.

in sunday school we were studying about the gadianton robbers (Helaman 6). it refers to satan and how he came to posses the hearts of the nephites in very astute ways.  it started out with small things that lead to a downward spiral.  i began to think about the ways there are gadianton robbers among us today.  i began to think about pop culture, music, clothing, television, politics, leaders, current world issues. there are so many voices constantly telling us how to live.  just as God needs instruments to bring about His work here on earth, so does Satan.  he takes hold of our hearts through the small things.  his instruments are telling us how to dress, what to say, what to listen to, what to think.  most of them don't even realize they are instruments in Satan's hands.  the scariest part, though, is that most of us don't realize they are Satan's tools either.  i began to think how often i do something or listen to something or say something that drives away the Spirit.  how often i try to keep one foot in babylon and one in zion without even realizing it, simply because i want to fit in.

everyone is born with the light of Christ to illuminate their way in the darkness.  those who have been baptized have received the Spirit's constant companionship.  and we must stay worthy of it if we are to make our way back to our Heavenly Father, with all of the misty clouds of temptations swirling all around us. so i resolved to make a change.  to be more aware of the sensitivity of my Spirit.  to notice when i don't feel that sweet, sacred influence at any given moment. i invite you all to do the same.  and to NEVER leave your religion, your love for Jesus Christ, your desire to be like Him, at the door.
peace+love

close encounters of the third kind

today i experience a moment in which i was embarrassed to be a girl.
for the 4th of july, provo puts on a parade on university ave.  the night before is a mad house.  people are camped out all along the street to get a good seat for the parade.  i went to visit an mtc companion along the route.  while i was there, her sister in law jumped in front of some guy walking down the sidewalk and said, "jef!  can i take a picture with you?"  my comp jumped up and said, "it's jef from the bachelorette!"  i don't watch that show so i don't actually care and just sat patiently on the grass when to my horror, a large group of girls, once they realized who my comp and her sister in law were taking a picture with, began to gather around jumping up and down, squealing and waving their hands around like lunatics. i heard comments like, "jef with one f, i love him!"  "oh my freaking gosh, my life is now complete."  oh dear...
every time a camera was put in front of his face he flashed a smile like a pro.  he was totally eating it up.
and now 1/3 of the female attendees new facebook profile pic is that of her with her "new boyfriend" jef.

i wonder if jesus were walking through that same crowd he'd get the same reaction...
peace+love

perfection

this morning in my scripture study i read, "for it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.  if not so, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad.  Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no...happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility...and if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness.  And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness." 2 Nephi 2:11-13

my earthly father may not be perfect...i love him either way.

there is no perfect being...except one.

my heavenly father is perfect.  He loves me with a perfect love.  He does not make mistakes.  we are all His children.  He knows us individually.  He knows our weaknesses and our strengths and He wants us to succeed.  He will never leave us.  and He will fight for each and every one of us individually that we may return to Him, until that judgement day when our brother will plead on our behalf so that we may enter into a state of never-ending happiness.

and that plan, my friends, sounds perfect.
peace+love

la novicia mormona rebelde...

this is what happens when you've been shut out from the world for several weeks and lock yourself in the linen closet to get away from everyone else around you...

peace+love

speaking of banjos...

i've been looking forward to yesterday since october 31, 2009. it is sad that my october will not be the same next year (it will be spring in chile). so i'm going to make the most of this month (the 20 days that i'm here, anyway). my kick-off consisted of:

-sleeps with skye- my twin not by birth (she has a twin in real life, but lauren's married now, so i'm the next best thing).

-not actually getting any shots--thank heavens for modern medicine; i was able to opt for the typhoid vaccine via pills! and the flu shot via nasal spray!! yes, i was a very happy girl.

-the temple. oh sweet refuge and house of sanity aka the only place i don't ever feel consumed by thoughts of doubt in my ability to serve a mission.

-the lower lights in concert--the closest thing to a baptist choir the mormon church will ever get, complete with clapping, stomping, amens and hallelujahs! i like to think this is the kind of concert that will welcome in the second coming.

-sammy's with some of my most favorite people in this whole world!

and now it's conference time.

peace+love

i love my life...

...and all you people in it.

i'm only 21 and have experienced some pretty amazing things:
-singing "forever in blue jeans" on PCTV at the Neil Diamond concert with my best friend when i was 15
-traded a 5 buck pizza for Cold Stone with my little sister and her friend. i'm pretty sure the workers just thought they were cute.
-watched an owl take off in flight while driving in the Uinta's at night
-watched a moose running next to the car on the same drive

-gone skydiving

-backpacked europe

-witnessed nature at it's finest aka rock climbing/zion/hiking

-sung "desperado" with my best friend in front of half our high school

-crossed 22 things off my bucket list of 110

-hiked to the highest point in utah

-completed a triathlon

-completed 2 1/2 marathons

-rode my bike 448 miles through one of the most beautiful areas in this country

-watched a school come together to provide a dinner for 140 homeless people

-experienced making real music.

-lived in the greatest city in utah (cedar! if you were wondering)

-entered the temple and received my endowment

-raised $211 for charity:water thanks to YOU!

i could go on. i have a family who loves me and friends who inspire me to be a better person everyday. i lead a very privileged life. i attribute that completely to my heavenly father.

i've also made mistakes and done some really dumb things and had heartaches and hard times. but that is why Jesus Christ atoned for our sins our pains, making it possible to become perfect through Him and giving Him the chance to comfort us when we need it most. i have experienced the healing power of the atonement first hand, and that is why i am so excited to spend the next 18 months telling the people of santiago, chile about this "good news". i'm also very much looking forward to the next 21 years and (hopefully) more in this beautiful world.

p.s. thanks ali and brookie for the birthday shout-outs. i sure love you both. also, brooke, i love that song, so thank you for pointing out those lyrics so i'd actually think of them--

"hold on to what you believe in the light, when the darkness has robbed you of all of your sight."

i'll do my best.

peace+love

8.2 weeks, 57 (almost) days, 1368 hours, 82080 minutes, or 4924800 seconds

fabulous news...

nights are getting chillier and sunflowers are blooming.

that means fall must be near.

which also means the most wonderful time of the year is closer and that is when i leave...58 days till i enter the mtc to prepare to serve in the chile santiago west mission for 18 months.

(yes, i know you're supposed to fly kites in the spring, but in cedar city it's always windy so {we} bought that kite in the fall. yes, it's on the ground because i am actually not very good at flying it.)

in other fabulous news...

so far, with the help of my friends, i've raised $105 for charity:water! and with only 5 donations. the goal is to raise $210 by my birthday, september 3rd. that's in 11 days. so even if you don't have money to give, i bet you have a friend or family member who does...and in my mind, spreading the word is a valuable way to help the cause. here's the link to my campaign.

peace+love

Fahrenheit 451

it's far too hot outside to sit, walk, stand, or do anything for that matter.

so, i'm sitting in my air-conditioned house in a rocking chair reminiscing about recent events of life and listening to a.a. bondy.

today was a good sunday. it didn't start that way. i talked to my stake president this morning and he informed me that the 12 apostles have not made a call for me to serve yet. he feels confident it will happen this week. which means i will receive it the next week. and won't leave for a few months after that. i won't lie, this mission prep thing is not all rainbows and butterflies. there are times i feel extremely discouraged, unknowledgeable (which, ironically, isn't even a word) and unworthy. i often wonder what i'm getting myself into. it doesn't help that i'm impatient and stubborn.

then i had a missionary farewell and homecoming to attend.

at the farewell i was gently reminded why i decided to go on a mission in the first place.

at the homecoming i was gently reminded i will not be the amazing teacher on my mission. but the holy ghost will be.

what i learned from all this? i've just been selfish. my focus has been on my anxiety and my problems. not on preparing to teach the people i will come in contact with and relying on the spirit.

now i am recommitting to continue to love life and live it up but focus on the well-being of others and seeking the holy ghost as a constant companion in everything i do.

on the lighter side of things, more pictures from skydiving. apparently my mom took pictures while i was in the air, so enjoy...

sky so blue

a perfect landing (on our feet!)

post-jump hair

{also, virtual hug to whoever gets the reference in the post title}

peace+love