oh, poor atlas, the world's a beast of a burden

this world is scary and life is hard.  i've spent a fair amount of time lately reading the news (trying to get rid of that instinct of going to facebook when i get online). some of today's headlines included, "inmates seen with guns, using drugs", "US:North Korea may launch missile", "Building collapse kills at least 9", amongst other tragedies, crimes, and disasters.  then there's all the crap that happens in people's personal lives everyday that don't make it to the headlines, and they often suffer in silence: divorce, death in the family, abuse, cancer, break ups, neglect, unemployment, bad grades, the list goes on.  as i write this i hear the siren of a firetruck pass my street.  man, it's exhausting.

but, God loves us.  and as i've struggled through my own trials and felt the weight and sadness for the trials of those around me, i've been so overwhelmed with gratitude at the love people have extended to me.  for every bad thing in life, there are two (at least) good things.

ex. 1 - these missionaries

i know i shouldn't have favorites, but seriously, i am going to miss these guys.  for the last six weeks they have strengthened my faith, brightened my day, and brought me closer to Christ.  i remember kneeling with them last saturday night as we prayed together.  when we finished i thought, where else in the world would you find a group of eleven 18-21 year olds kneeling together in prayer on a saturday night by choice? yes, amidst all the turmoil around us, there is so much good--this is one incredible group of young adults.

ex. 2 - these two goofballs

ashton and tess (my roommate and her boyfriend).  they are such blessings in my life.  i got home from work on wednesday after a sort of rough day and they kidnapped me, took me to dinner, and to walk around the mall for a bit.  that's just one example of the bajillion when they've helped me in some way. they are so quick to serve and care for others.  i couldn't ask for a better roommate/friend and her boyfriend (old married couple, really).  

ex. 3-this beautiful, selfless woman

my mother.  brooke sent me a text the other day that said, "There is a scripture in Acts about mama! acts 2:28 - 'Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance.'"  how true it is.  i cannot describe the peace i feel every time i am with her or get off the phone with her. she always seems to know just the right words to say. 

ex. 4-this beautiful weather we've had

ex. 5 -this weekend = general conference baby!  ya, the world is scary, but when we listen to and obey the prophet, we need not fear for the future.  God is great and He loves, and He will never give up on us or disappoint us.  He is perfect and He is my best friend.  I love Him. 

sorry this post was so wordy.  but it was therapeutic for me to write.  if you actually read it, i hope it will be therapeutic for you in some way as well.  also virtual hug to whoever can tell me where the title of this post comes from without googling it.

peace+love

that time i was caught curled up in the fetal position on the floor of a public restroom...and no, i wasn't drunk.

so, remember the whole "spend one on one time with my bike everyday" resolution?  ya, that sort of backfired on me today.  

i woke up and the sun was shining.  the roads were clear and i thought, oh perfect, i bet it will be warm enough to ride my bike to work.  

well, about 5 minutes into my commute my fingers began to feel numb. (yes, i was wearing gloves.  it was about 30 degrees today).  i'd left early enough that i could have turned around and gone in my car, but i thought, no, i've made my decision. plus my car hates the winter. stubborn, stubborn me.  by the time i got to the last little 50 yard stretch i was in so much pain that i thought i was going to throw up.  

i got to the mtc and locked up my bike and went right into the bathroom to run my hands under warm water.  i hurt so bad, i thought i would pass out.  so, i curled up in a ball on the floor just in case i did pass out.  yes, that is how much pain i was in--i didn't even care about the fact that i was laying on the floor of a public restroom.  that's when a girl walked into the bathroom and looked at me kind of funny then asked if i was okay.  i said, "yes, my hands are just really, really cold".  she washed her hands then said, "yeah, your hands are kind of pink...well, i hope you get feeling better" and walked out. i think she probably thought i was mentally ill. 

luckily i'm mostly better now, though my fingertips are a little sensitive.  and i ended the day off right, with a trip to nickel city, the classiest joint in utah valley.

peace+love

my boys

wow...i didn't realized how behind i was on documenting my life here until i started looking through my pictures.

so now i will document 2 very happy, much needed reunions...christmas will come later.

meet michael and mark. my two best friends from the moment we all met 7 years ago.  really, 3 peas in a pod.  these boys were there waiting for me with ben and jerry's when my cat died.  we've laughed together a lot, and at least one of them and i have cried together a lot (for his sake i won't tell who).  and after 4 years of not being all together in the same room i discovered i still love them just as much as i did when i saw them everyday.

and sam, sammy baby flew home from hell (grad school) for the holidays.  we went to church, completely stuffed our faces all day long, then sam entertained mom, brookie, and i with his life stories.

heaven knows how much i love this man and his cat sweater...i know you can't see it, but behind that poster his sweater says "real men admit they love cats".  ain't it the truth, sam taylor?  my life is happier with you in it.

and more happiness...i woke up to snow falling fiercely outside my window this morning, and it still has not ceased.  i love that i can walk around outside at 11 p.m. and have no need of light...truly a winter wonderland.

christmas to come...

peace+love

fred, you'll always be in my heart.

i love these people so much (i also love those not pictured here)...2 years ago for 9 weeks we spent 24/7 in each others' presence. as missionaries in the mtc we were homesick together, felt the spirit together, played basketball together, sang a LOT together, and ate way too many pumpkin chocolate chip cookies together (thank you mom, brooke, mattie, and aunts for all the packages)...we also missed out on harry potter 7 part 1 together.  it came out a week after we entered the mtc.  we dubbed ourselves "district gryffindor" and vowed to wait and watch the movies together once we all got home.  so, for the last 6 months i've waited for these boys to come home so we could watch the last 2 movies of harry potter...together.

"i've always liked these flames hermione makes" -ron.  ??? really???
i didn't love the movies, but i loved the company

...yes, i dressed like luna lovegood and yes, i was the only one who did dress up (okay, adam half dressed as voldemort--the one in all black).  i also find that copper map of chile all too appropriate.

my life is grand.
peace+love

where there is light there cannot exist darkness...

the other day, a dear friend hit a little rough patch, so what better solution/distraction to everything in life than a hike.  on the drive up i was talking about how grateful i was for life. i had read in the morning one of my favorite quotes from our living prophet, Thomas S. Monson:

 "the grateful man sees so much in the world to be grateful for and with him the good outweighs the evil, love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life."  

my friend then suggested, "let's do a grateful hike".  for every letter of the alphabet we had to come up with something we were grateful for.  here's what i'm grateful for...

aspen trees
brooke
chile
dad
egg salad sandwiches
food
german (not like the language...pronounced hair-mahn...my chilean dad)
health


we only got to "h" because to all there is a story.  perhaps i'll finish the alphabet some other day.

what are you grateful for?

peace+love

it's been a while

man, it really has been a while. but i'll tell you, preparing for a mission is non-conducive to the internet when you want to spend every waking moment with the people you love most...

cousin dougy (who i get to hang out with for a whopping 18 days between the time he came home and i leave)

mandy

my gorgeous best friend since we were 6--i love her baby bump.

mi familia. they're the best.

cedar peeps in b-town!

doing what i love most

peace+love

i might die

is it possible to die from pain induced by a needle in your arm?

i have to get a typhoid shot this week--if anything has had me seriously reconsidering a mission it is this. pathetic, i know.

but anyway, what could be more fun than running (walking) 6.2 miles with friends in the beautiful mountains with the leaves changing?

throw a bunch of mud in there and call it a party!

peace+love

stay alive, drive 55

cedar was so good to me...

-st. george temple

-a big smile and hug from prof. modesitt

-pastry pub complete with chocolate tiger cake

-sky fest (20 some-odd hot air balloons launching at once)

-german pancake breakfast

-getting lost but eventually hiking in bryce canyon

-all of the above with great friends

-the funnest birthday party i've ever been to with new friends (including huck finn)

-church

-sunday writing ritual in my tree

-birthday celebration for the one and only skye complete with awesome conversation and the encouragement i've needed all month

(photo teaser courtesy of cheri. i'll get the disposable developed someday soon...)

did i mention i have great friends? i've been home less than two hours and i already want to go back. the only thing sustaining me is live recordings of mumford and sons. shocker, i know.

peace+love

oh mandy...

...well you came and you gave without taking...{virtual hug to whoever names that song without googling the lyrics}

this is my friend amanda.

sorry, wrong picture

i didn't know her in real life before i knew her on blogger.

see, she was roommates with mackenzie, my sister from another mister/kerri's (my sister) best friend

[this is mackenzie and amanda]

so kerri was friends with her. kerri had her blog on her sidebar.

and i started reading it.

she is funny and has good taste in music, so of course i read/commented on her blog.

then i met her in real life. so now we're real life friends.

welp, she's feeling kinda sad cause in a few months i'll be leaving and won't be reading any blogs for a year and a half. she thinks she'll no longer have any comments on her blog.

so, i'm suggesting if you like me you should go read/comment on her blog. cause i bet you'll like her too.

do a sunday service and say hi!

i'll be happy you did.

(all pictures stolen via amanda's facebook page and blog)

peace+love

high uintahs

one time i hiked 34 miles.

...oh wait, that was earlier this week

7 miles up 1,000 feet with a 30+ lb backpack

find sick flip-up sunglasses behind a log

(attempt to) sleep

10 miles up 3,000 feet to the highest peak in utah

(13,528 ft above sea level)

experience altitude sickness

(at least i wasn't puking like that kid in the scout group)

10 miles down 3,000 feet

(attempt to) sleep

7 miles down 1,000 feet with a 30+ lb backpack

real food (+cell phone reception)

i love the mountains

peace+love

m.i.a.

Phoenix Weather

Updated: Jun 9, 2010, 11:05am MST

Right Now

Fair

95° F

Feels Like: 92° F

Wind: From N at 6mph

Details

Webcam | Video

if i don't come back in a week it's cause i melted.

peace+love

consequence of sound

in case you didn't already know that i am mildly obsessed with zion national park and the fact that it's just so darn close...

memorial day weekend =

4:15 a.m. work

hike to angel's landing

experience several severely awkward moments... (so, do you do like, adult-type plays?)

eat delicious food at the pastry pub

SLEEP

church

thaw chicken

go to park

chicken still not thaw

attempt to bbq chicken

1 hour later, chicken still pink

eat it anyway and thank god for an amazing immune system

SLEEP

hike 6.5 miles to kolob arch (possibly the world's largest arch)

look at the arch for 1 minute

hike 2.5 back

play in la verkin creek

the sound of water+birds+wind+my own breath=ya, god loves me

hike 4 miles back to car with wet jeans

EAT

blog

SLEEP

did you do anything fun this weekend?

peace+love

one word=nutella

today i have been eating nutella and listening to the format {which inevitably leads to reminiscing over summer '08} ...

{just to clarify, mom, no that is not all i did today--i also worked this morning and went to the allergist and the gym}

anyway, the format: formed in AZ (woot woot, alicia, june 10th!) in 2001 and, sadly, broken up in 2008. sorry guys, can't see them live anymore. and unfortunately that was the year after i was introduced to them. so no, i've never seen them live. but add them to your summer playlist because they fit in quite nicely alongside the likes of delta spirit and japanese motors.

listen to: snails aka kelli jean's views on how love should work

on your porch--depressing but beautiful

dog problems--just listen.

and watch this video

next week: fun.

peace+love

it's the american way...

hmm...i have no explanation. but i have a feeling this picture was my idea.

4th of july 2 years ago, bear lake aka lake+fireworks+rasberry shakes+danger on the waverunner=perfect 4th of july--that's my cousin dougy on the left. he's on a mission in south africa and he gets home october 2nd. i'm so stoked! (p.s. ladies he is single) on the right is my old bff shawn. and the butt belongs to douglas' brother topher. what a weasel.

1. The very best thing about the summer is the 4th of July. parades, fireworks, baseball, bbq. it just doesn't get better than that .

2. My first crush ever was 1st grade = Travis Christensen. one day we stayed in from recess and my friend frankie kissed him, so i decided to as well. didn't want to be left out. .

3. This may sound really silly but i'm like a little kid answering the phone when it comes to checking the snail mail. once i figure out what time the mailman comes to my complex, i'm the first one out the door with the mail key. sad thing is, most of the time there's nothing for me .

4. I squeeze my toothpaste from the end of the tube of course .

5. My absolute favorite "comfort food" is i don't have a comfort food. i have comfort music. sometimes i get the coconut chocolate brownies at pastry pub though. mmmm. i think i'll go get one now .

6. A random fact about me is that my absolute favorite flower is sunflowers and i'm allergic to them. it's so sad. .

7. The one piece of technology that truly makes my life better and I couldn't live without is my iPod. is that really surprising to anyone?

peace+love

sad day

once upon a time (3 weeks ago), my hard drive crashed. aka pictures=gone. files=gone. worst of all--music=gone. my friend got a new hard drive and installed it for me. cause i have awesome friends like that. then, my iPod decided he was done being alive...he's not totally dead yet, but he's definitely on life support and it makes me very sad seeing as i have no $$$ for a new one and as far as i am concerned my iPod is more of a necessity than food...with the exception of choc. soy. even then, it's questionable.

anyway, because i've been so busy (hence the reason this tuesday's muse is coming 8 minutes before wednesday) and in honor of my bff/desperado sister's wedding TOMORROW (yes, mildly freaking out in my mind) i give you "can't help fallin' in love"....a playlist of some of my favorite love songs slightly incomplete and completely jumbled (i'm probably going to hate it tomorrow and think of all the songs i actually wanted to put on there--tis life:

peace+love

somewhere O.V.E.R. the rainbow

that's right...finals are o-v-e-r, over! well, technically i have a final at three today, but it's my climbing class...which consists of climbing, setting up an anchor, and rappelling myself down. can you say fun final? oxy-moron, but not today! now that the semester is over, it's time for the

-highlights of spring semester 2010-

{in no particular order}
-getting ruby-
-finding paulie bleeker-
-discovering mumford and sons-
-spring skiing-
-c.a.l.i.f.o.r.n.i.a.-
-free dinners thursday nights at the episcopal church (what i affectionately call "episcopal dinner"). thanks rev. sue and congregation!-
-final season of LOST...sayid is going to break my heart and desmond is going to mend it-
-late night chat on the roof...what roof? the music building-
-camping out on said roof-
-living 45 minutes from zion national park-
-the pastry pub ...the only pub that doesn't actually sell alcohol-
-earning an almond rocha from my voice teacher-
-fabulous friends....seriously, fabulous-
-"so runs the world away" don't worry, i'm listening to it right now for the 5th time this week-

and during my summer of fun i'll be living in the college turned tourist town cashiering at cafe rio in the evening (where they call me "mamasita") and baking sweets at great harvest in the morning (as in before the sun comes up).

peace+love

sam and the shark

1. The strangest thing I've ever eaten was shark...and it was delicious .

2. My best friend is i have lots. but right now my favorite person is sam -he gave me a big huge hug today that made me feel better about life cause i'm staying here... (forget the fact he's sitting right next to me) .

3. If I could live in a different era it would be 1920's or 1970's because who wouldn't want to be around when public radio first came out? and who doesn't love 70's style? but i like living in 2010 .

4. I like fridays. and singing. and ice cream. and paulie bleeker .

5. If you only know one thing about me it should be i'm hands-down the most indecisive person you will ever meet. just look at my life history .

6. My favorite book of all time is To Kill A Mockingbird. if you've never read it, SHAME on you .

7. The one beauty product I couldn't live without is facewash .

8. Blogging is taking up the precious minutes i could be spending eating .

9. If I could star in a movie with any actor/actress I would want to work with Julie Andrews in a musical. it's truly tragic that she can't sing anymore .

10. One of the best feelings in the world is i don't know...but winning that almond rocha this week from my teacher whom i've always thought hated me felt pretty awesome .

peace+love

guess what? i'm human.

this week has been full of a mixture of emotions....stress, melancholy, sadness all jumbled in with happiness, giddiness, and euphoria. that's a lot to handle in one week. but intstead of discouraging you with details of my car problems, computer broken, failing a test, {worst cramps ever-tmi, i know} etc. etc. etc. i will dwell on the tales of happiness. for example:

-great friends. i have the best friends. they let me vent to them, keep me company, and make me smile. you know who you are--i love you guys. and will miss you immensely.-

-i won an almond rocha for my accompanist and i in my voice lesson this week...oh my teacher was on one but she doesn't make me cry anymore. she makes me laugh.-

-i've been wearing shorts all week...at least it starts out that way...then by about 4 it starts snowing...-

-the sun is shining today. which is good because today is "One Day Without Shoes". and that could get pretty miserable if there was snow on the ground.-

-i made dark chocolate brownies last night-

-um, right now if you are not a fan of LOST i feel very sorry for you. because the episode this week was beyond amazing and full of DESMOND DESMOND DESMOND! with a little sayid at the end...perfect-

-"having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card!" {click it, i dare you} i got a library card this week. it has dinosaurs on it. and i checked out a 750 page book of sherlock holmes' adventures. hours and hours of entertainment...for FREE!-

-today i'm listening to Mumford & Sons. what more do i need?-

welp, this is the longest post i've written in a while..and i've got to go repelling for my climbing class..pray i don't die. i love climbing. repelling frightens me, a lot. here i go to conquer my fears.

so, until tomorrow...

peace+love

april fools...

peace+love

happiness is...

...a relaxing weekend
which =
very little (but at least i did some) homework
zion with my dear friend to hike and take in the grandeur that is southern utah
running into the amazing jessica on the emerald pools hike
ol' faithful explosion in the car
coming home exhausted and starving
which resulted in banana+nutella crepes by same friend
(which i've been craving since, oh i don't know, um, tuesday)
patsy cline--there has never been and never will be a country girl like patsy
falling asleep at 8 p.m.
only to wake up less than 2 hours later
watching (falling asleep to) into the wild
soaking up the sun with a good book and some headphones
chatting it up with my awesome visiting teacher and friend whom i adore and admire
wrote a silly song with friends
and church

honestly, i could listen to those first two notes over and over again...

my grandpa IVon used to sing this while tucking me into bed.

what did you do this weekend?

peace+love